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  • 15 negative things people said about my natural hair

    15 negative things people said about my natural hair

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    Woman wearing her natural hair in a rounded shape

    Hey guys! How are you all doing?

    Today, I want to share some of the negative things people have said to me about my natural hair.

    I believe most of us naturalistas have heard the good, the bad and the downright ugly comments about our hair from friends, colleagues, co-workers and even family members, especially when we first started our natural hair journey.

    I believe that going natural, or choosing to remain natural, should be entirely your own decision. What other people think or say about your hair shouldn’t determine how you feel about it.

    Personally, I never allowed these negative comments to discourage me. If anything, they made me even more determined to embrace my natural hair and stand by my decision.

    Here are 15 negative comments I’ve received:

    15 negative things people said about my natural hair

    1. “If I were your boyfriend, I would have broken up with you because of your hair.”

    Imagine being told that someone would end a relationship because of your hairstyle. It is incredible how something as personal as natural hair can become a reason for someone to question your attractiveness or worth.

    2. “I will buy a chemical relaxer for you. I think you can’t afford one.”

    This comment suggested that the only reason I was wearing my natural hair was because I couldn’t afford a relaxer. It never occurred to the person that perhaps I actually wanted to wear my hair naturally.

    3. “You will soon get tired of your natural hair.”

    People seemed convinced that wearing natural hair was just a phase. But why assume that someone will eventually get tired of something they have deliberately chosen?

    4. “Your hair looks too untidy because it isn’t slicked down like relaxed hair.”

    Natural hair doesn’t always lie flat, and it doesn’t have to. Our hair has texture, volume and personality. Not every hairstyle needs to be slicked down to look presentable.

    5. “Those hairstyles you see online, like Bantu knot-outs and twist-outs, are sew-in weaves. Your hair can never look like that.”

    This was particularly interesting because it suggested that natural hair couldn’t achieve the styles I admired. Twist-outs and Bantu knot-outs are real styling techniques that can create beautiful results on natural hair.

    6. “Your hair won’t grow.”

    This is one of the misconceptions about natural hair that I find particularly frustrating. Natural hair grows, just like other hair types. Sometimes shrinkage makes it appear shorter, and length retention can require patience and consistent care.

    7. “Don’t you have money to go to the salon?”

    Apparently, choosing to care for your own hair at home meant you couldn’t afford a salon visit. But doing your own hair can be a choice, not a financial limitation.

    8. “Is that an afro? That’s old school. People don’t do that anymore.”

    An afro is not outdated. Natural hair has been beautiful for generations, and there is no reason to abandon a hairstyle simply because someone thinks it is no longer fashionable.

    9. “Don’t come to my house with natural hair.” (It was a joke, though.)

    Even when comments are made jokingly, they can still make you wonder why your natural appearance is considered something to be embarrassed about.

    10. “Don’t ever wear your hair out. It’s not nice. Always put on wigs or use extensions to braid or twist.”

    Why should natural hair always need to be covered? Wigs, extensions and braids can be lovely styling options, but wearing your own hair out should be just as acceptable.

    Woman wearing afro puff with twists

    11. “Your hair looks weird.”

    Weird according to whom? Natural hair comes in different textures, shapes and densities. Something unfamiliar to one person can be completely normal and beautiful to another.

    12. “You need a lot of makeup to accentuate your look with that hair.”

    This comment seemed to suggest that natural hair somehow made my appearance less attractive unless I wore more makeup. Hair should not determine how much makeup someone feels they need to wear.

    13. “You are only limited to styles like cornrows and African threading.”

    Natural hair offers so many styling possibilities. From twist-outs and braid-outs to Bantu knots, puffs, afros and protective styles, there is far more variety than people sometimes realise.

    14. “Why are you using fruits and kitchen ingredients on your hair? They’re meant to be eaten.”

    Natural hair care has a long history of using ingredients from nature. Of course, not every kitchen ingredient is suitable for every person’s hair or scalp, but that doesn’t mean every natural hair remedy is pointless.

    15. “You are wasting your time, money and energy on that hair. Is it worth it?”

    Yes, caring for natural hair takes time and effort. But so does caring for any hair type. The important thing is whether the routine works for you and whether you enjoy your hair.

    What these comments taught me about wearing natural hair

    Looking back, these comments say a lot about the expectations people have about hair, beauty and appearance.

    For some people, relaxed hair was the standard of what neat hair should look like. Others assumed that natural hair was difficult, unattractive, old-fashioned or simply a temporary phase.

    But natural hair doesn’t have to meet everybody else’s expectations.

    It can be worn in an afro, stretched, braided, twisted, tucked away or left out. You can use products, experiment with different techniques and find a routine that suits your lifestyle.

    And you don’t need to justify your decision to wear your hair naturally.

    Juicy two strand twists on natural hair
    Juicy two strand twits on natural hair

    Natural hair is not for everybody, and that’s okay

    I don’t believe everyone has to go natural. Relaxed hair, natural hair, wigs, braids and weaves are all personal choices.

    What I do believe is that people should be able to make those choices without being made to feel inferior.

    If you love your natural hair, wear it proudly. If you prefer another hairstyle, that’s your choice too.

    The problem is not having a preference. The problem is making someone feel that their hair is not good enough because it doesn’t match yours.

    Originally published in 2017 and updated in November 2026 with refreshed content and photographs.

  • Dandruff: Causes and Home Remedies

    Dandruff: Causes and Home Remedies

    Dandruff in Natural Hair: Causes and 8 Natural Remedies

     

    Dandruff is a common scalp condition characterised by white or grey flakes of dead skin and itching. You may notice the flakes on your shoulders, clothes or in your hair. Although dandruff is not contagious, it can be embarrassing and uncomfortable.

    If you have natural hair, dandruff can make your scalp uncomfortable and your hair-care routine frustrating. Understanding the causes of dandruff and exploring different scalp-care approaches can help you find what works best for you.

    Causes of Dandruff

    • Malassezia: Malassezia is a yeast that naturally lives on the scalp. In some people, it contributes to dandruff by triggering irritation and the shedding of skin cells.
    • Dry skin: A dry scalp can cause flakes and itching. However, dry scalp and dandruff are not exactly the same condition.
    • Oily scalp: Excess oil can contribute to dandruff because Malassezia feeds on oils found on the scalp. This can lead to irritation and increased flaking.
    • Shampooing habits: Shampooing too infrequently may allow oil and dead skin to accumulate, while washing too often with harsh products may dry or irritate the scalp.
    • Unhealthy diet: Diet is not usually a direct cause of dandruff, but eating a balanced diet supports overall skin health.
    • Stress: Stress may trigger or worsen dandruff in some people.
    • Sensitivity to hair products: Certain shampoos, conditioners, fragrances and styling products can irritate the scalp and cause itching or flaking.

    8 Natural Remedies for Dandruff

    Natural ingredients are popular in hair-care routines, and some people use them to manage scalp discomfort and flakes. Results can vary, and not every home remedy has been proven to treat dandruff. Here are eight remedies commonly used in natural hair care.

    1. Lemon

    Lemon juice is a popular home remedy for dandruff. Its acidic properties are often cited as a reason for using it on the scalp. Some people apply freshly squeezed lemon juice to their scalp before washing their hair.

    2. Aloe Vera

    Aloe vera is known for its soothing properties and is commonly used to relieve scalp discomfort. It also contains compounds with antimicrobial activity, making it a popular ingredient in natural scalp-care routines.

    3. Pre-pooing

    Pre-pooing involves applying oil to your hair before shampooing. Coconut oil, castor oil and olive oil are popular choices. This step can help condition your hair, reduce dryness and make wash day easier.

    4. Salicylic Acid (Aspirin)

    Salicylic acid is used in some anti-dandruff products to help loosen and remove flakes. Aspirin is sometimes suggested as a homemade alternative, although it is not the same as a formulated salicylic acid treatment.

    5. Baking Soda

    Baking soda is another ingredient people use in homemade hair-cleansing routines. Some apply it as an alternative to shampoo in an attempt to remove flakes and buildup.

    6. Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV)

    Apple cider vinegar is a popular natural hair-care ingredient. Some people use a diluted ACV rinse after shampooing as part of their scalp-care routine.

    7. Ginger and Honey

    Ginger and honey are used together in some homemade scalp treatments. Honey has been studied for its antimicrobial properties, while ginger is valued in traditional home remedies.

    To prepare the mixture, blend some ginger and mix it with honey. Apply the mixture to your scalp, leave it for about 30 minutes if comfortable, then rinse thoroughly.

    8. Coconut Oil and Castor Oil

    Coconut oil and castor oil are popular ingredients for moisturising and conditioning natural hair. To prepare this mixture, combine one spoonful of coconut oil with one spoonful of castor oil. Warm gently, apply to your hair, cover with a shower cap and wash out after about 30 minutes.

    A little reminder: Everyone’s scalp is different. Use home remedies with care, avoid applying irritating ingredients to broken skin, and stop using any remedy that causes burning, redness or increased itching. Some remedies may help with hair conditioning without necessarily treating the underlying cause of dandruff.

    Other Scalp Conditions Similar to Dandruff

    If you have tried different remedies and your flakes do not improve, another scalp condition could be responsible.

    1. Dry Scalp

    A dry scalp occurs when the skin loses moisture or becomes irritated. This may happen after using harsh shampoos, washing too frequently or using products that dry out the skin. Heat and chemical treatments can also contribute to scalp dryness or irritation.

    Dry scalp and dandruff can look similar, but they may need different approaches. A gentle shampoo and avoiding irritating products may help.

    2. Product Buildup

    Product buildup occurs when oils, gels, creams and other styling products accumulate on the hair and scalp. It can make the hair feel coated or heavy, and the residue may resemble flakes.

    Washing your scalp regularly with an appropriate shampoo can help remove buildup. You do not have to stop using all your favourite natural hair products; finding a suitable balance is important.

    3. Psoriasis

    Scalp psoriasis is a skin condition that can cause thick, raised patches covered with silvery scales. The patches may extend beyond the hairline and can be itchy or uncomfortable.

    Psoriasis is different from ordinary dandruff and may require specific treatment. If you suspect psoriasis, speak to a healthcare professional.

    When Should You Seek Help?

    If your scalp is very itchy, painful, swollen or crusted, you notice hair loss, or the flaking does not improve with appropriate treatment, speak to a pharmacist or healthcare professional. They can help identify the cause and recommend suitable treatment.

    Final Thoughts

    Dandruff can be frustrating, especially when you are trying to maintain healthy natural hair. Understanding the possible causes and choosing suitable scalp-care products can help you manage flakes and discomfort.

    Natural ingredients can have a place in your hair-care routine, but remember that a remedy that works for one person may not work for another. Pay attention to how your scalp responds and seek advice if symptoms persist.

    Do you know of any other home or natural remedies for dandruff? Have you tried any of the remedies mentioned above? Please share your experience in the comments below.

    Thanks for reading

     

  • 17 causes of hair breakage and how to fix it.

    17 causes of hair breakage and how to fix it.

     

    Hair breakage can be so heartbreaking and frustrating, especially to women, because the hair is a woman’s glory and an important part of our lives. There are so many causes of hair breakage, some of which may look harmless or innocent. The reasons range from carelessness, over-processing, hairstyles and even the way we handle our hair. Below are some causes of hair breakage and their solutions.

     

    1. Dehydration:
      Not drinking enough water on a daily basis can affect your overall health, including the health of your hair. Your body needs enough water to function properly, and staying hydrated is important for healthy hair. However, dryness and breakage can also be caused by how we care for and moisturise our hair.
    2. Unhealthy eating habits:When you depend on junk foods most of the time and neglect healthy foods necessary for healthy hair growth and strength, your hair can definitely suffer the consequences. Eat more healthy and nutritious foods to support healthy hair growth and strength.
    3. Split ends: This is the splitting of the hair ends as a result of heat, mechanical and chemical damage. It makes the ends of the hair look unequal and ragged. Trimming the split ends is the best remedy for this. You may feel reluctant about trimming your ends. If you don’t, the split can continue travelling up the strand and cause more damage.
    4. Combing hair when wet: Hair is more fragile when wet and tends to stretch and break more easily when handled roughly in this state. If you need to comb your hair when it is wet or damp, use a wide-tooth comb and be very gentle. Avoid forcing a comb through tangled hair.
    5. Chemical processing: Applying relaxers and dye too often to your hair can drastically weaken it and cause breakage. Some people opt for relaxing every month, which shouldn’t be necessary for most people. Retouching or chemically processing the hair too frequently can weaken the hair, especially when the chemicals overlap onto previously processed hair. Avoid unnecessary chemical processing or use it sparingly to help prevent hair breakage. 
    6. Towel drying: Using a towel each time you dry your hair and rubbing it rigorously can cause friction and lead to hair breakage. An alternative is to wrap your hair with an old T-shirt and gently squeeze out the excess water, then allow it to air dry.

      Towel drying
    7. Heat: If you are fond of flat ironing or blow-drying your hair every day, you might be putting your hair at risk of serious damage. Excessive heat can make the hair dry, weak and more prone to breakage. Limit excessive heat usage and always use a heat protectant when using heat on your hair. 
    8. Lack of moisture: Hair needs moisture especially African hair which is very dry, making it more susceptible to breakage. To moisturize your hair effectively, use the LOC (liquid, oil and cream) method. Starts by applying a water based leave in conditioner on your hair, follow it up with oil and seal with cream or butter e.g shea butter. Also deep condition your hair once weekly to retain moisture
    9. Over manipulation: Touching your hair too much can also make it easier for it to break off, so keep your hands off your hair.
    10. Exposure to ultraviolet rays and chlorinated water: Exposing your hair too often to harmful sun rays can break it too, applying avocado oil on your hair can prevent this. Whenever your hair comes in contact with chlorine maybe from a swimming pool, make sure to wash it thoroughly to avoid breakage.
    11. Hair products: Some hair products contain ingredients too harmful or drying for hair such as petrolatum, isopropyl alcohol, mineral oil, sodium lauryl sulfate etc. Go for natural ingredients such as Shea butter, coconut oil, castor oil, depending on what your hair needs.
    12. Prolonged and tight hairstyles: Keeping a hairstyle in for too long can be a reason for hair breakage, especially when the hair becomes tangled, dry or difficult to manage. Tight hairstyles can also pull, snap and snag your hair, and repeated tension around the edges can cause damage. Therefore, don’t keep your hair in for too long and stay away from hairstyles that are too tight or painful. 
    13. Combing: There is a saying that combing the hair often can make your hair longer. That’s definitely not true. Combing your hair too often or too aggressively can cause unnecessary manipulation and breakage. When you gather all the strands that come off each time you comb for about a week, you may be surprised by how much hair has broken or shed.
    14. Leaving the hair out too often: When hair is out most of the time, it can be easily manipulated, making it easier for breakage to occur. Protective hairstyles can help reduce excessive manipulation. Wear your hair in styles that protect your hair and, when appropriate, keep your ends tucked in.
    15. Washing hair frequently: Washing your hair too frequently, especially with harsh shampoos, can strip the hair of some of its natural oils and leave it feeling dry, which may contribute to breakage. However, you don’t necessarily have to wash your hair only once a week. Find a washing routine that works for your hair type, scalp and lifestyle.  Ensure you condition and moisturise your hair properly.
    16. Hairbands: Rubber bands and metal hairbands can pull, snag and rip the hair with repeated use. Make use of satin or silk hairbands and metal-free hairbands instead. Also, avoid tying your hair too tightly.
    17. Cotton pillowcase: This sounds harmless, but cotton pillowcases can create friction with your hair while you sleep and may contribute to dryness and breakage. Use a satin or silk pillowcase, wear a satin or silk scarf. You can also use a satin bonnet to protect your hair while you sleep.

    Read also: Are You Combing Your Natural Hair the Right Way?

    Other solutions include:

    1. Hot oil treatment: This can help to soften and condition the hair, especially when the hair feels dry.
    2. Protein treatment: Protein treatments can help strengthen hair that has become weak or damaged. However, don’t overuse them, as too much protein can make some hair feel stiff and dry.
    3. Deep conditioning: Deep conditioning regularly helps to keep the hair moisturised, soft and manageable, which can help reduce breakage.
    4. Castor oil application: Castor oil can help to seal in moisture and reduce dryness, especially when used with a moisturising product. Remember that castor oil itself does not moisturise the hair; it helps to seal in moisture.
    5. Washing hair in sections: For natural hair, washing the hair in sections can help to minimise tangling and excessive manipulation, which can help reduce breakage.

    Read also: Tangles and Knots in Natural Hair: 10 Ways to Prevent Them

    Thanks a lot for reading. ❤️ I will appreciate all your comments, likes and shares.

  • Tangles and Knots in Natural Hair: 10 Ways to Prevent Them

    Tangles and Knots in Natural Hair: 10 Ways to Prevent Them

    Tangles and Knots in natural hair are common,  especially if you have 4B or 4C hair, you probably know the frustration of dealing with tangles and knots.

    Sometimes it feels like you detangle your hair today only to find another knot tomorrow!

    The good news is that you don’t have to completely eliminate tangles to have healthy natural hair. The goal is to reduce unnecessary tangling and handle your hair gently when it does happen.

    I’ve learned over the years that consistent hair care makes a huge difference. When I neglect my hair for too long, it becomes much harder to manage. But when I keep it moisturised, stretched and properly maintained, my hair becomes much easier to work with.

    Here are 10 things that can help prevent excessive tangling and knotting in natural hair.

    1. Keep Your Hair Stretched

    One of the biggest things that can help reduce tangling in type 4 hair is keeping it stretched.

    When tightly coiled hair shrinks, the strands can wrap around one another more easily. Stretching your hair doesn’t mean you have to use heat. You can use methods such as:

    • Two-strand twists
    • Braids
    • Bantu knots
    • African threading
    • Twist-outs
    • Braid-outs

    The aim isn’t to eliminate your natural shrinkage. It’s simply to keep your strands more organised and reduce how much they intertwine.


    2. Don’t Ignore Your Ends

    Your ends are the oldest part of your hair, so they need plenty of attention.

    When ends become excessively dry, split or damaged, they can catch on neighbouring strands and contribute to tangling.

    You don’t need to follow a strict rule that says you must trim every three months. Instead, pay attention to the condition of your ends and trim when necessary.

    If you’re constantly finding split ends, single-strand knots or ends that won’t stay moisturised, it may be time for a trim.


    3. Protect Your Hair

    Protective or low-manipulation styles can help reduce the amount of daily friction and handling your hair experiences.

    Braids, twists, tucked-away styles and other gentle styles can keep your ends from constantly rubbing against clothing and other surfaces.

    However, protective doesn’t mean tight.

    A hairstyle that causes pain, pulling or constant tension can damage your hair and scalp. Dermatologists warn that repeated tight hairstyles can contribute to traction alopecia.

    Your protective style should actually feel protective!


    4. Don’t Skip Detangling

    This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about natural hair.

    Leaving tangles in your hair doesn’t usually make them disappear. They can become bigger and more difficult to remove later.

    Detangle gently and patiently, preferably in manageable sections.

    For tightly coiled hair, dermatologists recommend thoroughly wetting the hair and using conditioner before detangling with your fingers or a wide-tooth comb. Working in sections can make the process easier.

    And remember:

    Ends → middle → roots.

    Don’t start by forcing a comb from your roots through a mass of tangled hair.

    I recently wrote more about this here:

    [Are You Combing Your Natural Hair the Right Way?]


    5. Braid or Twist Your Hair Before Bed

    If you’ve worn your hair loose all day, don’t simply go to bed with it completely loose and tangled.

    Before sleeping, gently put your hair into a few loose twists or braids.

    This helps keep the strands organised and can reduce friction while you sleep. A loose pineapple, braid or twists can also help preserve your hairstyle.

    If you use a satin or silk bonnet or pillowcase, that can further reduce friction.


    6. Stop Constantly Touching Your Hair

    I called this “hand-in-hair syndrome” in my original article, and honestly, I still think it’s a real thing! 😂

    Sometimes we don’t even realise how often we’re touching, separating, fluffing and rearranging our hair.

    Constant manipulation can contribute to dryness, tangling and breakage.

    So once you’ve styled your hair, leave it alone as much as possible.

    And yes, that includes constantly asking other people to touch your hair because they love your curls. 😂


    7. Keep Your Hair Moisturised

    Dry hair tends to be harder to manage.

    A good conditioning and moisturising routine can make your hair softer and easier to detangle. The American Academy of Dermatology also recommends conditioning curly/coily hair and notes that conditioner can make hair easier to manage and detangle.

    You can experiment with the LOC or LCO method to find what works best for your hair.

    For example:

    L — Liquid/Leave-in
    O — Oil
    C — Cream

    Or:

    L — Liquid/Leave-in
    C — Cream
    O — Oil

    There isn’t one method that works for everybody. Pay attention to how your hair responds.


    8. Pay Attention to Your Ends

    Your ends are particularly vulnerable to dryness and friction, so don’t forget about them when moisturising.

    Apply your leave-in or moisturiser throughout your hair, paying particular attention to dry areas and the ends.

    You can also use a small amount of oil if that works well for your hair.

    The goal isn’t to drown your hair in oil — it’s to keep your routine balanced and prevent your hair from becoming unnecessarily dry and difficult to manage.


    9. Don’t Keep the Same Style in for Too Long

    I know the feeling.

    You finally get your braids or twists done and think:

    “I’m keeping these in FOREVER.” 😂

    But leaving a style in for too long can eventually lead to accumulated shed hair, buildup and tangling when you finally take it down.

    The longer you leave a style in, the more important it becomes to pay attention to your scalp, new growth and the condition of your natural hair.

    And remember: if a style becomes painful, excessively tight or uncomfortable, don’t wait until the planned removal date.


    10. Wash Your Hair in Sections

    Washing loose, highly textured hair can sometimes leave you with a bigger tangling problem than you started with.

    Try dividing your hair into several manageable sections before washing.

    You can gently braid or twist each section and work through them one at a time.

    The American Academy of Dermatology specifically recommends washing long or thick curly hair in sections to reduce damage or tangling.

    You don’t have to use exactly six sections like I suggested in my original article. Use whatever number makes your hair manageable.


    What If Your Hair Is Already Tangled? How do you get rid of the tangles and Knots?

    Don’t panic — and don’t attack the knot with a comb!

    Start by:

    1. Adding water or a suitable conditioner/leave-in for slip.
    2. Separating your hair into manageable sections.
    3. Using your fingers to gently loosen the biggest tangles.
    4. Starting at the ends.
    5. Working gradually towards the roots.
    6. Using a wide-tooth comb only when the section is sufficiently detangled.
    7. Taking your time.

    If a knot won’t move, stop pulling. Add more slip and work around the knot with your fingers.

    For tightly coiled hair, gentle detangling while the hair is thoroughly wet and conditioned is supported by dermatologists’ guidance.


    Final Thoughts on Tangles and Knots

    Tangles are part of having natural hair. You don’t need to achieve completely tangle-free hair to have healthy hair.

    The key is learning how to reduce unnecessary tangling and, when knots do happen, removing them gently.

    For me, one of the biggest lessons has been that consistency matters.

    When I neglect my hair, it becomes harder to manage. When I give it regular attention, keep it moisturised, detangle it properly and protect it, my hair responds so much better.

    And that’s something I’m rediscovering as I get back into caring for my natural hair.

    Natural hair doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs care. 🌿